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So I promised I`d finish the division breakdown, and I`m not one to break a promise, but I`m losing inspiration and keep going back to internet porn. Have y`all seen The Hunger Games yet? That Jennifer Lawrence is hot as ****! Someone tell Bundy that it`s not really about eating before he goes and wastes the $20 Tom and Shay are paying him to run the league on a ticket. Anyways, never fear as I`m here to add a little life and humor to your grumpy-pants league. I mean, seriously, you guys realize this league is supposed to be fun, right? You`d never be able to tell from reading this message board... Open East - Might as well change this division name to the Open Least, cause ain`t a team in this division that can win it all. Oh well, still gotta rank em... The Truth - I can`t believe I have to put fatass and company as the best team in this division. It makes me puke in my mouth a little to be honest. Unfortunately, I think they have to be considered the best team in the Open Least this Spring. Of course, that`s about the same as being the smartest kid on the short bus. Yeah, you may be smarter than Corky sitting next to you, but you`re still a retard. Outcast - See the paragraph above, re: Corky. Who U Wit - Will the real Who U Wit please stand up? With half their team down in the Beach, don`t look for the Fairfax version to make much noise up here. They have some athletes though, and beat both Truth and Outcast in the Fall so don`t sleep on them. Chuck Norris - Wow. They still let these guys register a team? I did hear they found a new QB last Fall that made them a tough out in B. Of course, that`s about the same as being an average team in the women`s NCAA tourney. You might feel good about your success but the rest of the world just doesn`t care. Rebels - Best part about this team is their spiffy unis. They have home and away jerseys, matching shorts and hats! Where can I find the Rebels team store? They actually got a win against Truth over the winter, so maybe they`re improved? Word is they have the Bootleggers QB from weeknight. You know that guy, the one with the gut who thinks he can, has an okay arm and keeps talking about how he could dominate the `A` league but never plays anything but `B`? What`s his name? Lusbian? Should be interesting to see what they do. WTF - I don`t want to write about this team, it feels like an insult to have to think of something clever to say about these guys. They have nice jerseys and have no clue on how to play football. End of story. Chargers - Welcome to the league newbs. I see you had an average team in FXA. Average FXA teams = winless IFFL teams. Congrats on stepping up to the big leagues, get ready to get your ass handed to you. Open West - Team Hollywood or Team Nunn? Yup, their both as gay as the Twilight series. Pain - Ole Noodle Arm has teamed up with annual underachievers Off In The Shower/NTAC/Punishers to form a HUGE team without a real QB! Oh wait, they got Slash? Okay, so they`ll limp by until time for the playoffs and then Slash and Tyson will come into town to try and win another title. Scavengers - Word on the street is Jeremy Beibersdorf has called it quits for Sunday mornings, which is why I have to put them in second behind Woody and crew. Nunn is still enough of an athlete to make them a tough team, but not good enough to win the division. United - Guess who`s going to tank it at the end of the season to make sure they`re in the B playoffs? Lazy Sundae - Hey Sef! Didn`t anyone tell you this isn`t the wheelchair league? I kid, Sef can still run circles around most of the youngsters in this league, as long as his teammates can get him back to the retirement home in time for snack and bingo. Sundae is one of the last of the old school teams still hanging on pretending they can still play. Rhinos, Dietze, Sharks...they`ve all hung it up, time for Lazy to follow suit. Team Hana - Does The Hana Group realize they`re sponsoring a perennially bad team? I doubt it. If they saw you guys play I`m sure they`d ask for a refund. Child Please - Welcome to the league. At least you`ll be better than the Bearcats. If you aren`t, retire from football immediately. Bearcats - You`ve won 3 regular season games since 2006. Seriously, 2006. Stop registering. You guys are worse than all the morons who were waiting in line to buy lottery tickets this morning. At least they`ll all get some excitement from wasting their money.