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1. Pitbulls (3) - The doggies looked pretty good Sunday against Dietz, yeah they tied and yeah Dietz has like a .2 APD over them, but the Pits get the nod here due to their more recent championship, superior talent (They`ve got Cube and we all know that T2 is showing up for the playoffs) and the simple fact that Dietz isn`t a spring team. All their success seems to come in the Fall. 2. Dietz Nuts (2) - Dietz clearly has the best offensive line in the league. When the Pits tried to bring four on them, they adjusted and brought in another blocker and shut them down and gave Carlin all day to throw. It`s just too bad his receivers don`t match up with the rest of the offense. Don`t get me wrong, they`re solid, run good routes and make the catches, but they can`t seperate and it hurts them in games like this past Sunday. You can only throw a slant to Mad Max so many times a game before someone catches on guys! 3. Pain (5) - Took care of business on Sunday against Los Lobos Dano but then disappointed against an average Banditos team. Two ties on their record and Hollywood`s weak arm is keeping them from occuping one of the top two spots in my poll. Well that and Dre is short. It`s just not a Pain review if you don`t take a shot at the Wood`s arm or Dre`s height. 4. Wolves (1) - I watched just a smidgen of the Wolvies v NTAC and I gotta say, wow I`ve never seen injuries take such a solid A league team and turn them into a low B team like that in my life. NTAC (No Talent Ass Clowns! Was I the last one to figure that out?) gave them a run for their money. But injuries can`t be blamed for poor play either! The Wolvies were missing flags, and good Lord when did their QB start trying to get cute and pitch the ball away for TDs? It`s a punt son, get away from it and let someone with SPEED return it. You go throw the ball to....well, I don`t know anymore. But at least you still kinda look like Peyton Manning. 5. Lazy Sundae (7) - Lazy won the geriatric bowl this Sunday, so that`s good enough to get them up to fifth in my esteemed ratings and keep Dr. Kevorkian at bay for another week. Apparently Sef`s ride from the nursing home slipped him a couple extra capsules of Geritol before they left for the game and it was enough to help them stop the juggernaut that is the Rhinos offense. (Please note the implied sarcasm). In all seriousness, Lazy is always a good team and never to be taken lightly. When the playoffs come aorund they will make some noise. Like ringing the nurse`s call buton from their beds. 6. Rhinos (4) - This is what happens when you can`t score. Plain and simple, the Rhinos can`t score against the weak teams in the Open West, so why should they be able to when the playoffs come around. And look, before all the Open West teams start crying about how big their ****s are, look at the amount of points you`ve scored so far this season. NONE of you have broken a 100 points yet this year, and the best APD in the divison is United with 7.6?! All I`m saying is, there are 4 teams in the East and 5 in the West that have broken the century mark. So, yeah if The Rhinos could score, they`d be running away with this divison. Of course, looking at the inept offenses in this division I have to question whether their defense is as good as it seems. 7. United (10) - Apparently trickery and pitching with your 4th string QB is enough to get you by Stone Cold. Again though, I can`t stress enough how weak the West is this year and as a result I see United going one and done in the playoffs. Oh yeah, apparently they`re old too. Can we petition Shay to change the division from Open West to something more retirement home friendly? How about Sunset West? Sounds like a great place for flag football players to spen their golden years. 8. The Truth (9) - On a "bye week" due to Smokin` Aces withdrawl from the league, they move up thanks to the Pens and Collisions losses. They`re going to have their hands full with Dietze this Sunday and unless they can keep it close, they may drop out of the top ten. Oh yeah, Bundy`s fat. 9. The Penetrators (8) - Not much has changed here. They smacked the taste out of Norris` mouth, which makes sense, but losing to the Scavengers may make things interesting come playoff time. Wait, hold on. The Scavs didn`t blow it against the Pens? Wonder why? Oh yeah, it`s probably that non-existent defense again. Take away their two blow out wins against Chuck Norris (laughing stock of the league) and Grand Hustle (hustled their way right on out of the league!) and they`re allowing over 14 points a game on defense. That`s a quick way to a first round exit in A. 10. Collision (6) - Our biggest dropper this week. When you lose to a team whos biggest win coming in was a struggle over the mighty Midgets, it`s time to question just WTF happened (yes, bad pun intended.) Seriously, this is the same team that The Truth hung 40 points on the week before and a team as good as Collision let them sneak a win out? Something isn`t adding up. I was told in private that my comparison of their QB to Forrest Gump wasn`t funny and it may have hurt his feelings and his performance. If so, I apologize. Maybe you and Willie can pray though Forrest? Ask God to turn you into a bird so you can fly, fly far far away? On The Outside Looking In Banditos (NR) - Banditos have played a tough schedule so far, and looked decent while doing it. However they need a signature win to get them into the top ten, and it`s not going to happen with only the SCAVENGERS left of their schedule. They will however make the A playoffs. Outcast (NR) - A nice recovery for these guys since the week one drubbing they took from The Truth. Andy seems to be getting them on track, but after the way the Pitbulls trounced them on Sunday it`s clear they aren`t quite an A team yet. Blue Knights (NR) - They have the dubious honor of scoring the most overall in their division this year (83 points! WOW!), but they also got housed by Goldrush. Sorry Charlie, but a loss to Goldrush is an automatic trip to B.